Sunday, May 1, 2011


I proposed this to Ann via email:

have u ever written ur thoughts on the big tragedy? if ya have thats sense in reliving BUT if not....just a thot...

i would propose a small tragedy write fest if you havent....maybe i might be an ok person to write i will write back my own...

just a wild thought.....with someone who is safe.......

peace and love....


The last week of June '02 I got a call from Joe at my office (this happens at least 3/4 times a day anyway)  The longest unbilical cord in the world is what Jim calls it.......
Joe wants me to come to Memphis for a visit...  I say to him "but, Joe, you are going to be home in less than a month"!  The next day he calls and says he's on the internet and is going to book & buy a ticket for me.  Wow!!  That is a first!~:)  So....... end of June I wing my way to Memphis (Joe's treat) and spend a fantastic 5 days with he, Janet and the five children.  Jim is at home pouting wondering why he wasn't included~:)
On June 24th, 2002 Joe took me to the airport and as we kissed goodbye he said to me "Let's never let it be this long again before wee see each other again".  That struck me as odd because I knew I'd be seeing him and his little family in less than a month!
During my time in Memphis that week of late June, Joe and I were out together one day and started talking about "death".  I said to him then "if anything ever happened to you I'd lay right down beside you and die.  I could not go on with my life without you"  I have since found out that this is called "prevenient grace"!! 

just the facts - court documents

and a little bit about both Joe's....Ann's husband Jim also had a Joe who plays guitar....So here is a misc description of both Joe's. Ann's Joe and Guitar Joe ( 2nd husbands son).

Well let's see.......Guitar Joe has lived in Brooklyn for the last 4 years, but now that he's contracted with Cirque du Soleil for the next 2 years he'll here and there.  He's been at their main complex in Montreal since the first of the year and the troupe is now in Orlando until the end of this month - rehearsal 6 days/week, then off the NYC to rehearse 6 days/wk again until the grand opening of their new show, Zarkana, on June 9th at Radio City Music Hall.  That will run until October then they're off to Madrid for a 3 month gig and then Moscow for a 4 month gig and I'm not sure after that!  I don't see him often (and will less for the next couple of years) but 2 years in a row we vacationed in Maine with my uncle and his family and he gets home a couple of times a year when his gig schedules allow.  He and I are very close.  Besides his dead beat brother, Lee, who lives in Omaha I'm the only family he has!  His mother died when he was only 3 and I'm the only mother he's ever really known.  He was just turning 13 when Jim and I started dating. 
He loves DeeDee & Don and the munchkins adore him.  When he was home at Thanksgiving Deanna followed him around like a love-sick puppy dog~:)  He wrote a song about her and played the guitar and sang it to her and she'll be in love with him forever now!!  The kids have always loved him.  When we are all together he sits in their room and plays guitar for them before they go to sleep.  Joseph is a very kind, gentle person and very spiritual and enormously thoughtful.  He's also extraordinarily brilliant like his father,  just not so much of a smart-ass!!~:)
Forgive me.... verbosity will be my eventual downfall I'm sure~:)  Death by words should be my motto -  my death, not yours!  Then again I'm not sure.  You haven't keeled over yet have you??
My Joe...... an only child and as he told a friend once when he was about 15 "I'm not spoiled, just loved a lot".  Joe was a world class underachiever as a teenager - in school anyway.  Too busy being cool and drop-dead gorgeous!  He had his first job when he was 13 and always had a job to support his many vehicles, his girlfriends and his two passions -  Hockey and golf.  He knew I could not afford to help him out and he loved earning money!  I loved him with a passion but I was hard on him when it came to being responsible.  Just before high school graduation I sat down with him and explained that he could not continue to work at the local hardware store and live life as a volunteer fireman forever.  (After a fire the guys used to go back to the firehouse and watch skin flicks and drink beer).  Not going to be my sons career!!  I gave him 3 months from the date of graduation to either go to college (he couldn't have gotten in anywhere because his grades were so bad) or make up his mind what to do with his life.  I informed him after the 3 months he would not be living in my house.  It was the most terrifying thing I've done.  I loved him and wanted to protect him, but I also knew without a doubt that he had to become his own man and make something of his life.  I had to force his hand........  A week later he came home to tell me that he had just enlisted in the Marine Corps for 6 years.  I just about croaked!!  Well......... at least he made a decision.  One of the best ones he ever made in his life as it turns out~:)  He was a Marines Marine.  He made meritorious promotion to Sargent within 2 1/2 years.  He was locked and cocked as they say.  He has so many letters of commendation that it's mind boggling.
Jesus - help me I'm writing and I can't stop!!
Just finish up here with my Joe - maybe in a coconut shell - pecans are too small.  Anyway, after the Marine Corps he went into law enforcement first as a patrolman, then undercover narcotics, then a promotion to Lieutenant and administrator of the county jail.  From there a promotion to Captain and assistant warden at a state correctional facility.  He was selected  out of the top 100 correctional officers in the country to attend several federal level training facilities but the most prestigious was on in Longmont, CO.  That was a real feather in his cap.  Joe was bright, professional and always excelled in everything he did outside of high school~:)
During his time in law enforcement he became certified to teach in the Arkansas school system two programs.  One was called "Be a Winner" and was geared to 5th grade and was a "so no to alcohol and drugs" program.  The second one was called "Natural High" and was a high school course on saying no to drugs and alcohol.  Joe was an avid body builder and had competed at a state level for several years and could attest to the endorphin high!!
I'm going to stop now because you are probably ready to puke........ let me say this, though, Joe was by no means a perfect person even though I was his biggest fan and he was my hero.  Joe was cocky, self-centered (to a certain degree) and had a bad habit.  Women!  He couldn't keep his pecker in his pants to save his life~:)  On the day of his funeral one of his friends said "I've never seen a man who loved women as much as Joe Hanlein.  And you want to know what?  They loved him back!!"  He was a great father, though.  He loved his kids!
Okay, I haven't even addressed half of what you said in this message......  We both need a breather.  I will say this............... how wonderful it is for me to have the opportunity to write what I really feel in my heart  No one has ever asked before.  Now you know why.  They don't want to have a barrage of meaningless words shoved in their faces!! ~~:)
I hope you had a somewhat restful sleep.  I know you wake up and your mind is in a tumultuous state.  I think people who are overly bright have a constant nagging about the meaning of this thing we call life..... you need somehow to make sense of it.  I, personally, think you are an amazing person!


Guitar Joe played this at Ann's Joe's funeral. He never played it again.

Cathedral is the one....

No comments:

Post a Comment